At Zen Life Counselling we help people cope with grief and mourning following the loss of a loved one or due to major life changes that trigger feelings of grief i.e. job loss or separation from a loved one.

We provide a space for individuals to work through and process the complex emotions surrounding loss.

We believe that the process of Grief & Loss Counselling is unique to you and no one can know what you are going through, Nez can help you to process the many feelings that will surface while you go through the grieving process and adjust to a new existence, without the person you loved.

There are many emotions that may follow loss:

• Shock & disbelief – How did this happen, it’s not what should have happened, it should have been me first.
• Denial & numbness – if I don’t accept it, it can’t be true, I won’t accept it.
• Anger & rage – How could they leave me, it’s unfair, I feel abandoned.
• Overwhelming sadness – I can’t go on without them.
• Regret, guilt – it is normal to go over all that you did and didn’t do and all you think you should or shouldn’t have done. Also, guilt may come from the feeling of ‘relief’ following the loss.
• Depression – feelings of despair, pointlessness to life and thinking about your own mortality.
• Pain – physical pain is a common symptom following a loss, stress and anxiety can trigger physiological reactions – psychosomatic responses.

During the grieving process you may suffer any of these and many more, they may come in ‘waves’. You may find you have good days, when you feel like you can almost continue like you did before the loss, and bad days when everything seems impossible or a great effort.

What is grief, is it normal to feel like this?

It is normal to feel a range of emotions including sadness, anger, numbness and denial. It is also usual to experience grief quite some time after your loss.

You may suffer bouts of uncontrollable crying or periods of extreme exhaustion or you may wonder why you are not suffering and feel no emotions at all.

Grief & Loss isn’t just about death. Although we associate mourning following the death of someone, grief can occur after other forms of ‘loss’ such as the ending of a relationship or a child leaving home, and this can also bring up deep emotions. Mourning is a healthy and necessary process when an ending is painful, but sometimes we need support in the process.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ solution to coping with grief, there is no ‘timeframe’ for the length of your mourning. However, working through your feelings can help you ‘process’ all that has happened and all that has changed for you and this is where Grief & Loss Counselling really helps.

You may have heard of the ‘stages of grief’, many people imagine that you go from stage 1 to stage 5 in an orderly process, however grief doesn’t work like this and it may be that you go through the various stages; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance, in your own order. Bargaining can often come first if the bereavement is expected, for example during the end stages of a loved one’s illness.

At Zen Life Counselling we will work together to explore what is going on for you with a goal of finding acceptance and a way forward following your loss.